Guest Name

Dr Maher Hathout, Senior Advisor and one of the founders of the Muslim Public Affairs Council 

Subject

Reacting to Insults: Islamic Etiquette?

Date

Thursday,Mar 2 ,2006

Name

wafa    - 

Profession

Question

Assalamu 'alaikum, Dr. Hathout. How does a true believer respond to insults?

Answer

Wa'alykum assalamu rahmatullah.

We find the answer clearly stated in the Qur'an when Allah SWT talks about those who would control their anger and even goes further to recommend forgiveness. The verse goes as follows: "Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and forgive (all) people; for Allah loves those who do good." (Ali-'Imran: 134)

The Qur'an also teaches us: " Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; but turn away from the ignorant." (Al-'Araf: 199)

Therefore, a Muslim is not supposed to respond to an insult by another insult, especially in the area of religion because what others may insult is dearer and more important to us than anything else.

Name

Abdul    - United States

Profession

Question

Assalamu Alaikum Dr. Maher Hathout,

What do you think is the intention behind those who desecrated the Quran in Guantanamo Bay and those who published Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) caricature in Danish Newspaper?

Answer

I think the intention is to provoke us in a way that makes us behave the way they want us to behave. So at the end of the day, and in the eyes of the world, Islam and Muslims are depicted in a negative image. We should never enable our enemy to make us hurt ourselves. We have to remember that the Qur'an and the towering figure of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) are two strong and two big to be affected by these acts of stupid impoliteness.

Name

Abdul    - United States

Profession

Question

Recently a minister in India offered a reward of $11.5 million to anyone who would kill any of the cartoonists who drew the images of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). He also said that the people of Meerut, a city in India will pay the money, Muslim women in Uttar Pradesh, a state in India have decided to give away their jewelry to weigh in gold any one who beheads the cartoonist and the minister himself will give his weight in gold.



In your opinion, what kind of role should the Muslim scholars, organizations and media outlets play to strike a difference in the attitude of masses so that they don't get misled by someone's speech or statements?

Answer

I think it is a responsibility of the 'ulema (scholars), the thinkers and intellectuals of the ummah to make the Islamic teachings very clear to the masses. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was persecuted and insulted during his life and he did not react in such a gang style way.

Moreover, the person who kills for money is a bloody murderer, not devout to Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) or to his teachings.

Name

Hani Ghadoun    - 

Profession

Question

How do you see the burning of national flags as a way of showing anger? Why did some scholar call it un-Islamic and incompatible to the rules of Islam?

Answer

The national flags are a very recent invention. The flag does not represent the government of a country, but it is a symbol of the country, its people, its culture and its collective identity. I don't think that Muslims believe in collective punishments or would like to insult people in general. So burning the national flag is not, in my humble judgment, a proper way of protesting.

Within every country there are hearts and minds that we can win for Islam and they might be turned off when they see the symbols of their identity burned down or stepped on.

Name

Muslim brother    - 

Profession

Question

When a Muslim is doing something really haram (unlawful), like not praying and making fun of people and lying. How should one respond, in a friendly, advising manner? Or in a straightforward, harsh manner. Given that I have advised this person many times before, and it doesn't seem to be making a difference.

Answer

As the Qur'an instructs, "call to the way of God using wisdom and nice preaching." (An-Nahl: 125) If it does not work we have no authority over the person. Even Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was told in the Qur'an that he is just "a reminder, not a figure of authority." (Al-Ghashiya: 22)

Name

Abdul    - United States

Profession

Question

How would you define an intellectual, professional and peaceful approach that Muslims need to undertake when countering insults and that way it completely stops or at least minimizes similar incidents from re-occurring?

Answer

I think if we focus on the positive attitude without falling into blinding anger, we will then be able to offer the truth in a dignified, convincing way. For example, our response to the insults directed to Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) should have been a widespread education about how Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) benefited humanity at large and how his mission made life better and offered to human civilization factors that were non-existent before.

To give few examples: how the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) stressed the importance of public education, while education before him was a privilege to certain people or class. Others examples are the scientific exploration and research which was considered heresy before; the equality between genders; and the fact that a ruler is elected as a servant to the masses – these are just but few of so many principles of progress that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) offered. This will be more appropriate than burning embassies or a stepping on a flag.

Name

Sameh    - 

Profession

Question

I go to college and live in Canada where there is lots of haram (unlawful) going on everywhere. I know many Muslim and non-Muslim people at college. Most of them are doing haram. Is it my duty to tell people every time they are doing haram, considering that most people here are ahlul-kitab (people of the Book). What is the etiquette with dealing with these situations? Wasalamu Aleykum.

Answer

The best thing is to set a model of halal (lawful) in your behaviour. This will make the halal obvious and the haram (unlawful) obvious, and through your personal success and attitude towards others in terms of compassion and cooperation for what is good, your case will be made convincing and clear. This is much better than talking because, as they say in America, talking is cheap.

Name

Dohei    - 

Profession

Question

If you say you do not believe in a collective punishment of a nation, why do you then boycott their products?

Answer

The boycott is a mild way of putting reasonable amount of pressure so that the perpetrators in these countries will see the matter more seriously.

Name

afaaq    - Pakistan

Profession

student

Question

As-salaam-u-Alikum
Q. In Islam,The Muslims are not allowed to say anything negative about the religion of disbelievers otherwise they will abuse and curse our religion.But In The case of Anti-Prophetic Cartoons we had not hurt the disbelievers but they insulted our Holy Prophet (SAW).Now What we should do?

Answer

We are not allowed to return the insult by another insult; an evil will not correct another evil. The Qur'an states that "good and evil will never be equal, so repel what is evil by what is good until your enemy turns around to be your close friend." (Fussilat: 34)

I understand that we feel the hurt when someone talks ill about our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), but this hurt should never dictate the way we deal and the way we react; otherwise, we will be equal and we have to maintain the high moral ground because this is the mandate of Islam on us.

Name

Raed Faleh    - Belgium

Profession

Question

I understand that the lack of dialogue between the east and the west was a main factor in escalating the latest Danish problem, but to be frank, the inter-faith dialogues that took place during the past years, achieved very little in bringing harmony and raising awareness about Islam. The marginalization of Arab and Muslim countries was quite obvious, and the topics discussed are usually superficial and not tackling the real problems happening on the ground. Do you think there is an imminent need for dialogue taking serious actions on hate crimes, religious hatred, civil liberties, respecting faiths and religious figures?

Answer

I think dialogues on the issues you mentioned is an essential step. The results will be better if people who are conducting the dialogue have the experience and the confidence in their own religion and the respect to others. This will make the dialogue more fruitful; otherwise, it will be just ceremonial and it will not result in what we are hoping for.

Name

M. Kaloosa    - Austria

Profession

Question

Could you give us some examples of how Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) used to respond to insults, I mean in terms of religious freedom, personal life, political international affairs, etc?

Answer

The examples that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) offered to us are so many. I can mention two wonderful ones

1. When God sent Gabriel to him to giving him the choice of destroying those who insulted him by the mountains collapsing upon them, the response of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was, "no, I ask Allah to guide them because they lack knowledge."

2. On writing the treaty of Hudaybiya, when the Quraish representatives refused to write the phrase, 'In the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful' and wanted to modify it to a more neutral language - which was in "Thy Name, my Lord" – the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) conceded to their request. And when he was dictating the terms of the treaty saying, 'this is the agreement between Muhammad, the messenger of God, and Quraish' again Quraish representatives objected to this part saying, "if we acknowledge you as the messenger of God, then what will dispute be about?" And Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) did not want to take a rigid position for the sake of peace and he said, "Ok, we can write, Muhammad, son of Abdullah instead." This glaring example shows an amount of tolerance and accommodation that we need to learn from.

Name

Imadi, Addo    - 

Profession

Question

It is true the insults to Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) were quite deplorable, but the way many Muslims all over the world reacted was truly objectionable as well. I would like to ask about the reason that makes both parties to take the extremes.

Answer

I agree with your statement that they have been extreme elements on both sides that made a bad situation worst.

As for Muslims, they now live through very difficult times that unfortunately make them more vulnerable to an emotional reaction. I call on my brothers and sisters in Islam, everywhere, to be self-confident and have the confidence in our religion so that we don't feel that it is threatened by every hateful or impolite provocation. Only then can we react in a way that turns the challenge into an opportunity, and we can even gain more hearts and minds for Islam.

As for why the other parties take extreme situations, it is actually attributed to many reasons, some of them are the results of ignorance, or the brainwash by wicked propaganda or by historical factors, and with all honesty, some of them are genuinely afraid of Muslims because of the ugly images attributed to some Muslim extremists. These extremists are feeding to the environment of fear and hysteria that the enemies of Islam are propagating.

Name

Adel    - 

Profession

Question

In your last replies you were only suggesting mild, peaceful and non-violent reaction. Are you then preaching "turing the other cheek"?

Answer

No, I am not. I just want us not to keep slapping our own face. There are more effective ways of correcting the wrong than to react emotionally to it. I am not recommending a mild reaction; yet I am recommending an appropriate one.

Name

Mediha    - 

Profession

Question

Were you happy with this international response to the attacks on our prophet? Do all these demonstrations, protests, etc. mean that success in the ummah is coming soon?

Answer

I have been very unhappy both because of the cartoons themselves and because of the inappropriate reaction to them. However, I believe that this is part of the collective experience and I hope that we will learn something out of that.

Name

Denis    - United States

Profession

Question

The etiquette you are talking about in this session is just a lip service and a way to pretend you're for general religious tolerance. Where have you been when a cartoonist showed Mary soaked in urine… if the Bible is desecrated in Saudi Arabia, would you go and burn the ka'ba?!! If you're really preaching freedom of faith, tell me why there can't be a church in Saudi Arabia, for example, and why can a Muslim man marry a Christian while a devout Christian who shows respect to others' faith cannot marry a Muslim lady who loves him?

Answer

I will try to answer to your questions in point form:

1. First of all, let me tell you that your information about the cartoonist of Jesus and urine is not accurate. What was exhibited in the National Museum of Arts, US, is a piece of a jar of urine with the cross soaked in it. And I want you to know that our Islamic Center (The Islamic Center of Southern California), as well as the Muslim Public Affairs Council, together with the Catholic Archodieces of Los Anglos protested that piece loudly, demanded its removal from the Museum and even requested the federal government to stop financial support to the Museum. We took the same stand against the movie that was depicting Mary in an inappropriate way; we actually picketed the movie theatre that showed the movie.

2. As for your second question on whether, if the Bible is desecrated in Saudi Arabia, I would and burn the Ka'bah, this is a very silly notion. Of course, I would protest desecrating the Bible loudly, while I will at the same time keep adoring and protecting the Ka'bah.

3. As for why the government of Saudi Arabia does not allow Churches to be built there, I think I am not here to speak on behalf of Saudi Arabia.

4. Concerning a Muslim woman not allowed to marry a Christian male, the Muslim woman is too valuable to get herself in a family where her prophet, her Book, her even religion is not even recognized. Of course this is not the case for a non-Muslim woman who marries a Muslim man because, according to the teachings of Islam, her Muslim husband recognizes her religion, acknowledges her book and is obligated to enable her to practice her faith and go for worship in her own places of worship.

Name

Muslim    - Canada

Profession

Student

Question

My father is very keen on me doing good in school. Alhamdullilah i am doing good, but his old age is making him nervous so he thinks that i might be doing bad. I am involved in the mosque alot and in dawah projects. My father thinks i am not studying and im just praying and doing dawah when i really actually am studying. He recently got really mad at me and insulted me very badly and made du'a that Allah will send give me kids who are gonna give me a hard time and that i will never succeed in life. What is the muslim etiquette in response to these actions. Jazakum Allahu Khaira.

Answer

The Islamic etiquette is as follows:

1. tell your father that you respect and love him;

2. ask him for his making du'a';

3. and show him good grades in schools; in other words, reassure him that you're successful at school. Remember that nobody on this earth wants you to be better than him except your father. So even if he gets mad at you, you have to tolerate that and respond with kindness.

Name

Ragad Ameeri    - United States

Profession

Question

In your mind, what needs to be done to prevent insulting and lampooning religious figures? Do you think an international law would solve this issue?

Answer

I hope an international law can be passed; however, we know that this law will be violated because international laws usually have no teeth. Impolite people will keep insulting. In the case of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) this started the moment he declared that he is a Prophet of God. It is recorded in the Qur'an that he was described as a magician, as a liar, as a sorcerer, as a confabulating poet and that he was possessed; however, this never took away anything from his greatness and respect.

Name

Mediha    - 

Profession

Question

How do you see Dr. Qaradawi's call on launching a global, multilingual website to present Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) to the west?

Answer

Any effort to educate people in their own language about Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is a step in the right direction and is the right way of reacting to acts of insults and desecration, and I hope that something good may come out of that. In addition, I believe that those who contribute to such an effort will get their generous reward from Allah.

Name

Editor    - 

Profession

Question

Answer

Finally, we would like to thank Dr. Maher Hathout for taking the time to answer the questions of Islamonline viewers today, and we also thank all those who participated in this dialogue. We apologize for not being able to accommodate all the questions within the time allocated to this session. If you feel your question is very important, feel free to contact us at EngLivedialogue@islamonline.net and we will try our best to answer your question. We request our readers to join us in upcoming sessions.

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