Responsibility of Men and Women

Sura- 4 [Al Nissa medina 92]

The Quranic Text & Ali’s version

الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاء ...

4:34.  Men are the protectors and maintainers of women,

C545. Qawwam:

-        one who stands firm in another's business, protects his interests, and looks after his affairs- or

-        it may be, standing firm in his own business, managing affairs, with a steady purpose.

Cf. 4:135.

... بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ...  

because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means.

... فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللّهُ ...

Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard.

C546. Or the sentence may be rendered:

"and protect (the husband's interests) in his absence, as Allah has protected them."

If we take the rendering as in the text, the meaning is:

the good wife is obedient and harmonious in her husband's presence, and in his absence guards his reputation and property and her own virtue, as ordained by Allah.

If we take the rendering as in the note, we reach the same result in a different way:

-        the good wife, in her husband's absence, remembering how Allah has given her a sheltered position, does everything to justify that position by guarding her own virtue and his reputation and property.

... وَاللاَّتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ ...

As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first),

C547. In case of family jars four steps are mentioned, to be taken in that order:

1.     perhaps verbal advice or admonition may be sufficient;

2.     if not, sex relations may be suspended;

3.     if this is not sufficient, some slight physical correction may be administered:

but Imam Shafi'i considers this inadvisable, though permissible, and all authorities are unanimous in deprecating any sort of cruelty, even of the nagging kind, as mentioned in the next clause;

4.     if all this fails, a family council is recommended in 4:35 below.

... وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ...

(next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly);

... فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلاَ تَبْغُواْ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلاً ...

but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance):

C548. Temper, nagging, sarcasm, speaking at each other in other people's presence, reverting to past faults which should be forgiven and forgotten,-all this is forbidden. And the reason given is characteristic of Islam.

You must live all your life as in the presence of Allah, Who is high above us, but Who watches over us.

How petty and contemptible will our little squabbles appear in His presence!

... إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا ﴿٣٤﴾

for Allah is Most High, Great (above you all).

4: 34 Men shall take full care of women with the bounties which God has bestowed more abundantly on the former than on the latter,

and with what they may spend out of their possessions.

And the righteous women are the truly devout ones, who guard the intimacy which God has [ordained to be ] guarded. Asad (see note 43)