Sexuality & bonding between man & women



Sura-7 [ Al Araf mecca 39]

The Quranic Text & Ali’s version:


هُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَجَعَلَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا لِيَسْكُنَ إِلَيْهَا...

7:189. It is He who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with her (in love).

C1162. Cf. 4:1, and n. 504, where the construction is explained.

...فَلَمَّا تَغَشَّاهَا حَمَلَتْ حَمْلاً خَفِيفًا فَمَرَّتْ بِهِ...

When they are united, she bears a light burden and carries it about (unnoticed).

...فَلَمَّا أَثْقَلَت دَّعَوَا اللّهَ رَبَّهُمَا ...

When she grows heavy, they both pray to Allah their Lord, (saying):

C1163. The mystery of the physical birth of man, as it affects the father and the mother, only touches the imagination of the parents in the later stages when the child is yet unborn and yet the life stirs within the body of the expectant mother.

The coming of the new life is a solemn thing, and is fraught with much hope as well as much unknown risk to the mother herself.

The parents in their anxiety turn to Allah. If this feeling of solemnity, hope, and looking towards Allah were maintained after birth, all would be well for the parents as well as for the rising generation. But the attitude changes, as the verses following show.

... لَئِنْ آتَيْتَنَا صَالِحاً لَّنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الشَّاكِرِينَ ﴿١٨٩﴾

"If Thou givest us a goodly child, we vow we shall (ever) be grateful."

C1164. Goodly: salih: includes the following ideas:

- sound in body and mind;

- healthy;

- righteous;

- of good moral disposition.


Asad’s Version:


7: 189 It is He who has created you out of one living entity, and out of it brought into being its mate, so that man might incline [with love] towards woman [note 155]. And so, when he has embraced her, she conceives [what at first is] a light burden, and continues to bears it.

Other versions:


Yusuf Ali It is He who created you from a single person and made his mate of like nature in order that he might dwell with her (in love). When they are united she bears a light burden and carries it about (unnoticed). When she grows heavy they both pray to Allah their Lord (saying): "if Thou givest us a goodly child we vow we shall (ever) be grateful."

Pickthall He it is who did create you from a single soul, and there from did make his mate that he might take rest in her. And when he covered her she bore a light burden, and she passed (unnoticed) with it, but when it became heavy they cried unto Allah, their Lord, saying: If thou givest unto us aright we shall be of the thankful.

Transliteration Huwal lazi khalaqakum min nafsiw wa_hidatiw wa ja'ala minha_ zaujaha_ liyaskuna ilaiha_, falamma_ tagasysya_ha_ hamalat hamlan khafifan fa marrat bih(i), falamma_ asqalat da'awalla_ha rabbahuma_ la'in a_taitana_ sa_lihal lanaku_nanna minasy sya_kirin(a).


Asad’s notes

155 – Lit., “so that he might incline towards her”, For an explanation of the terms “one living entity” and “its mate”, see 4:1, and the corresponding note.


4:1 O MANKIND! Be conscious of your Sustainer, who has created you out of one living entity, and out of it created its mate, and out of the two spread abroad a multitude of men and women. 1 And remain conscious of God, in whose name you demand [your rights] from one another, and of these ties of kinship. Verily, God is ever watchful over you!


Note 1 Out of the many meanings attributable to the term nafs - soul, spirit, mind, animate being, living entity, human being, person, self (in the sense of a personal identity), humankind, life-essence, vital principle, and so forth - most of the classical commentators choose "human being", and assume that it refers here to Adam. Muhammad 'Abduh, however, rejects this interpretation (Manar IV, 323 ff) and gives, instead, his preference to "humankind" inasmuch as this term stresses the common origin and brotherhood of the human race (which, undoubtedly, is the purport of the above verse), without, at the same time, unwarrantably tying it to the Biblical account of the creation of Adam and Eve. My rendering of nafs, in this context, as "living entity" follows the same reasoning - As regards the expression zawjaha ("its mate"), it is to be noted that, with reference to animate beings, the term zawj ("a pair", "one of a pair" or "a mate") applies to the male as well as to the female component of a pair or couple; hence, with reference to human beings, it signifies a woman's mate (husband) as well as a maris mate (wife). Abu Muslim - as quoted by Razi - interprets the phrase "He created out of it (minha) its mate" as meaning "He created its mate [i.e., its sexual counterpart] out of its own kind (min jinsiha)", thus supporting the view of Muhammad Abduh referred to above. The literal translation of minha as "out of it" clearly alludes, in conformity with the text, to the biological fact that both sexes have originated from "one living entity". ]]



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[[ Ali’s notes - 1162 Cf. iv. 1, and n. 504, where the construction is explained. (7.189)

1163 The mystery of the physical birth of man, as it affects the father and the mother, only touches the imagination of the parents in the later stages when the child is yet unborn and yet the life stirs within the body of the expectant mother. The coming of the new life is a solemn thing, and is fraught with much hope as well as much unknown risk to the mother herself. The parents in their anxiety turn to Allah. If this feeling of solemnity, hope, and looking towards Allah were maintained after birth, all would be well for the parents as well as for the rising generation. But the attitude changes, as the verses following show. (7.189)

1164 Goodly: salih: includes the following ideas: sound in body and mind; healthy; righteous; of good moral disposition. (7.189)



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Sura-2 [Al-Baqara medina 87]


The Quranic Text & Ali’s version:


وَيَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ الْمَحِيضِ...

2:222. They ask thee concerning women's courses.

... قُلْ هُوَ أَذًى ...

Say:

They are a hurt and a pollution;

C247. Adhan: hurt, pollution.

Both aspects must be remembered. Physical cleanliness and purity make for health, bodily and spiritual. But the matter should be looked at from the woman's point of view as well as the man's. To her there is danger of hurt, and she should have every consideration.

In the animal world, instinct is a guide which is obeyed. Man should in this respect be better: he is often worse.

... فَاعْتَزِلُواْ النِّسَاء فِي الْمَحِيضِ وَلاَ تَقْرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّىَ يَطْهُرْنَ...

so keep away from women in their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean.

... فَإِذَا تَطَهَّرْنَ فَأْتُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ أَمَرَكُمُ اللّهُ ...

But when they have purified themselves ye may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Allah.

C248. Haythu: A comprehensive word referring to manner, time, or place.

The most delicate matters are here referred to in the most discreet and yet helpful terms.

In sex morality, manner, time, and place are all important: and the highest standards are set by social laws, by our own refined instinct of mutual consideration, and above all, by the light shed by the highest Teachers form the wisdom which they receive from our Maker, Who loves purity and cleanliness in all things.

... إِنَّ اللّهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ وَيُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ ﴿٢٢٢﴾

For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.

نِسَآؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُواْ حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّى شِئْتُمْ وَقَدِّمُواْ لأَنفُسِكُمْ ...

2:223. Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will. But do some good act for your souls beforehand;

C249. Sex is not a thing to be ashamed of, or to be treated lightly, or to be indulged to excess.

It is as solemn a fact as any in life. It is compared to a husbandman's tilth; it is a serious affair to him; he sows the seed in order to reap the harvest. But he chooses his own time and mode of cultivation. He does not sow out of season nor cultivate in a manner which will injure or exhaust the soul. He is wise and considerate and does not run riot.

Coming from the simile to human beings, every kind of mutual consideration is required, but above all, we must remember that even in these matters there is a spiritual aspect. We must never forget our souls, and that we are responsible to Allah.

It was carnal-minded men who invented the doctrine of original sin:

"Behold," says the Psalmist, "I was shapen in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me" (Psalms 51:5).

This is entirely repudiated by Islam, in which the office of father and mother is held in the highest venerations. Every child of pure love is born pure. Celibacy is not necessarily a virtue, and may be a vice.

... وَاتَّقُواْ اللّهَ وَاعْلَمُواْ أَنَّكُم مُّلاَقُوهُ وَبَشِّرِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ ﴿٢٢٣﴾

and fear Allah, and know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe.

C250. Our highest spiritual ambition should be the hope of meeting Allah. To uphold such a hope is to give glad tidings to people of faith. It would only be unrepentant sinners who would fear the meeting.

Note how the most sensuous matters are discussed frankly, and immediately taken up into the loftiest regions of spiritual upliftment

Asad’s Version:


2: 222 And they will ask thee about [women’s] monthly courses. Say: It is a vulnerable condition. Keep, therefore, aloof from women during their monthly courses, and do not draw near unto them until they re cleansed; and when they are cleansed, go in unto them as God has bidden you to do.” [note 209].

Verily, God loves those who turn unto Him in repentance, and He loves those who keep themselves pure [note 210].

Other versions:


Yusuf Ali They ask thee concerning women's courses. Say: They are a hurt and a pollution; so keep away from women in their courses and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves ye may approach them in any manner time or place ordained for you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.

Pickthall They question thee (O Muhammad) concerning menstruation. Say: It is an illness, so let women alone at such time and go not in unto them till they are cleansed. And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allah hath enjoined upon you. Truly Allah loveth those who turn unto Him, and loveth those who have a care for cleanness.

Transliteration Wa yas'alu_naka 'anil mahid(i), qul huwa aza_(n), fa'tazilun nisa_'a fil mahid(i), wa la_ taqrabu_hunna hatta_yathurn(a), fa iza_tatahharna fa'tu_hunna min haisu amarakumulla_h(u), innalla_ha yuhibbuttawwa_bina wa yuhibbul mutatahhirin(a).



[ Asad’s note 209 – This is one of the many references in the Quran to the positive, God-ordained nature of sexuality. Note 210 – I.e., if they have transgressed against the above restriction.]

[Ali’s notes:

247 Azan: hurt, pollution. Both aspects must be remembered. Physical cleanliness and purity make for health, bodily and spiritual. But the matter should be looked at from the woman's point of view as well as the man's. To her there is danger of hurt, and she should have every consideration. In the animal world, instinct is a guide which is obeyed. Man should in this respect be better: he is often worse. (2.222)

248 Haithu: A comprehensive word referring to manner, time, or place. The most delicate matters are here referred to in the most discreet and yet helpful terms. In sex morality, manner, time, and place are all important: and the highest standards are set by social laws, by our own refined instinct of mutual consideration, and above all, by the light shed by the highest Teachers form the wisdom which they receive from our Maker, Who loves purity and cleanliness in all things. (2.222) ]





2: 223


Asad Your wives are your tilth; go, then, unto your tilth as you may desire, but first provide something for your souls [note 211], remain conscious of God, and know that your are destined to meet Him.


Yusuf Ali Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will. But do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah and know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter) and give (these) good tidings to those who believe.

Pickthall Your women are a tilth for you (to cultivate) so go to your tilth as ye will, and send (good deeds) before you for your souls, and fear Allah, and know that ye will (one day) meet Him. Give glad tidings to believers, (O Muhammad).

Transliteration Wa la_ taj'alulla_ha 'urdatal li aima_nikum an tabarru_ wa tattaqu_ wa tuslihu_ bainan na_s(i), walla_hu sami'un 'alim(un).


[Asad’s note 211 – In other words, a spiritual relationship between man and woman is postulated as the indispensable basis of sexual relations.]


[ Ali’s notes

249 Sex is not a thing to be ashamed of, or to be treated lightly, or to be indulged to excess. It is as solemn a fact as any in life. It is compared to a husbandman's tilth; it is a serious affair to him; he sows the seed in order to reap the harvest. But he chooses his own time and mode of cultivation. He does not sow out of season nor cultivate in a manner which will injure or exhaust the soul. He is wise and considerate and does not run riot. Coming from the simile to human beings, every kind of mutual consideration is required, but above all, we must remember that even in these matters there is a spiritual aspect. We must never forget our souls, and that we are responsible to God. (2.223)

250 Our highest spiritual ambition should be the hope of meeting God. To uphold such a hope is to give glad tidings to people of faith. It would only be unrepentant sinners who would fear the meeting. Note how the most sensuous matters are discussed frankly, and immediately taken up into the loftiest regions of spiritual upliftment. (2.223) ]


[Asad note 211 In other words a spiritual relationship between man and women is postulated as the indispensable basis of sexual relations. ]


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4: 25 …This [permission…] to those of you who fear lest they stumble into evil.

( re: sexual impropriety) But it is for your own good to persevere in patience [and abstain from such marriages]: and God is much-forgiving, a dispenser of grace.


5: 5 Lawful women for wedlock from other religion. .....provided that you give them their dowers, taking them in honest wedlock, not in fornication, nor as secret love -companions.